If I Were Bitten By A Radioactive Rink Rat...

Now that's a low-down dirty trick to get me to post something.

If I were biologically re-engineered into a real hockey player...

Team: Montreal property of course, but I'd spend most of my time down on the farm with the Fredericton Canadiens.

Uniform Number: 2

Position: Defense

Nickname: Sudsy

Dream Defense partner: My talented little brother. Or Paul Coffey.

Rounding out the PP: The only way I'll get on the ice during a PP is by stepping out of the penalty box. On my way to the bench, I'd try to stay out of the way of Gretzky, Pavel Bure, and Saku Koivu.

Job: Staying at home to mop up the 2 on 1s and 3 on 1s left by my rushing partner, clearing the crease.

Signature Move: hip check.

Strengths: Skating, angling off attackers, stick press, poke check

Weaknesses: Puckhandling, lack of offensive instincts (think Brad Marsh but less skilled), apt to disappear for long stretches of the '06-07 season :)

Injury Problems? "flu"

Equipment: Craig Ludwig shin pads, longest wood stick I can find, tin foil.

Nemesis: Any quick little bugger with a good inside-out move. Ovechkin would eat me alive.

Scandal Involvement: Can't speak French.

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: The Quebec Nordiques.

What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Etch swear words over the names of the Maple Leafs.

Would the media love me or hate me? No comment.


Blogger NYCWickedWrister said...

Would you play for the Penguins if they moved to Brooklyn?? We're trying to start a movement!

From the Igloo to Flatbush - pensinbk.blogspot.com

2/02/2007 5:16 p.m.  
Blogger CasonBlog said...

Just wanted to see if you would declare a Fatwa on me for pledging fantasy allgiance to the Habs.

2/06/2007 1:26 p.m.  

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